Black Holes- What You Need to Know to Protect Yourself

cosmic-explosionBlack Holes occur when large, dense stars implode, or collapse upon themselves, creating such a massive gravitational force that they devour everything within sight, including light.

Did you know most Home Insurance Policies do not offer coverage against losses due to a Black Hole? Isn’t it time you offered your family the protection it deserves?
For only $399 I will send you my brand new Black Hole Detector (patent pending). With this easy to use device you can rest assured your pets and loved ones will not be sucked into space to be converted to anti-matter.
And yes, it is easy to use. It works much like a smoke detector or carbon monoxide detector. In fact it looks almost exactly like a carbon monoxide detector except that ‘Carbon Monoxide’ has been crossed off and ‘Black Hole’ has been written in with a red laundry marker.
Money back guarantee! Void where prohibited by laws of physics.You cannot afford to put a price on your families well being. But for those of you on a budget, we now offer the Black Hole Detector Upgrade kit, where by with very little technical know how, you can convert your carbon monoxide or smoke detector into a fully functioning black hole detector.
For only $199 we will mail you the special red laundry marker and you can write ‘black hole’ your damn self.Act now, matter is collapsing!

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