Arturo the Cucumber
When will you learn?
That Matches can’t swim,
And Monkeys won’t burn.
When the yearn man knocks,
Quick! Let him in.
Everything you want will be yours,
When you need it.
Arturo the Cucumber,
When will you learn?
He sang and he skipped.
He tripped over easy.
He spun and he spun,
Until he felt queasy.
He said to himself,
‘I must be a Clock’
‘Cuz nibblers don’t spittle,
And Boulders won’t rock.
Arturo the Cucumber,
When will you learn?
He tried and he tried,
But couldn’t succeed.
So he kicked his feet,
And tried just to bleed.
His Medical Record
Skipped over Splotches
Of Juices of Uses,
A Noose in it’s Notches.
Arturo the Cucumber,
When will you learn?
©Robert Emmett McWhorter/
published by Hermetic
Medical Records (ASCAP)
(circa 1994)