Zapruder: Reloaded

DATELINE, Los AngelesFlip Top News Logo

With all the movie remakes recently, it’s easy to think that Hollywood has run out of new ideas. Their newest film reboot, though, might indicate that they have even run out of movies to remake.

Universal Studios today announced they are currently filming a remake of the Zapruder film; the 1963 homemovie that captured the assassination of John F. Kennedy. The remake will star Nicholas Cage as the President, Kristen Stewart as the First Lady, and Benedict Cumberbatch as secret serviceman Clint Hill.

The studio has been secretive about the project. We have learned however that they will beef up the original 4 minute film to feature length by adding a subplot concerning alien/ werewolf/ KGB members.

Zapruder_cropped_forstoryUniversal says Zapruder: Reloaded will be in theaters by Christmas, along with a full line of action figures and collectibles.

Some experts who have seen early treatments of the film are planning a boycott because of its departure from history and embellishment of the facts.

One noted historian who wished to remain anonymous noted a glaring inconsistency in the film that has absolutely no correlation in real life. In one scene, after president is first shot, he (played by Cage) squints up toward the book depository window and shouts, “You feeling lucky punk?”

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