The Waiting Life

Labrador Dali ‘Possum House CD’

 

And I don’t get how you get by
You’ve closed your eyes
You’re so surprised
when you wake up every day,
and it’s not yesterday again
And if you paint the windows black
the sunlight cant attack you anymore

And you don’t get what you gave up
You keep your home
like a waiting room
And freedoms just another word
for crippled by your fear
So turn up the TV set
and watch them ringing in
another New Year.

How can you say it’s the end?
When it never even really began
And their calling your name
but you pretend you can’t hear
You’re only as real as you feel,
and you don’t have to feel a thing.

You don’t have to feel a thing.
You don’t have to say a word.
You don’t have to think at all.
You don’t have to sign your name,
or tell them who you are,
or even if…

You have no right to do no wrong
Don’t sing along with my mistakes
If that’s what it takes to
shut you up and move along
There’s only one more verse to rehearse
before you can quit the band.

How can you say it’s the end?
When it never even really began
And their calling your name
but you pretend you can’t hear
You’re only as real as you feel

You don’t feel anything at all…

© Robert Emmett McWhorter
published by Hermetic
Medical Records (ASCAP)

Jalapeño Bridge


        Labrador 03.10.08 Elbo Room
Space is nothing,
when youve nothing left to face
I cant take what
we pass off as boredom

Standing before you
But after the laughter
is the crying shame
Another game we gotta play

A secret for two is a story
And our story’s all over the world
You can do anything

Feeling nothing,greenguywhen you’ve nothing left to give
I cant think of anything
to say to you

Standing before me
But after hours the powers
too strong to shake
Another cake we gotta eat

You can do anything

© Robert Emmett McWhorter
published by Hermetic
Medical Records (ASCAP)

Mr. Argyle Sock

Thunk  ‘Melodious Thunk’ CD 1995

Mr. Argyle Sock,
Sits on his rock,
wreaking of rum
And Catholics.

Houses fall down
When he comes around,
He stands alone
In the windowframe.

With his finger in a dyke,
At the open mic,
The leaks come
Squeaking to a halt.

But if you can’t find it,
You’ll be reminded,
That it’s absolutely
Not his fault.

argyleWhen you’re only
Entertaining a thought,
But the thoughts gets bored
And move away.

They’re probably
In his head now,
Having the time
Of their lives.

Mr. Argyle Sock
Picking your pocket
Funding your
cash/ weight-loss diet

Riding his bike,
Looking just like…

If he was for sale
You’d buy it.

If you could afford him,
You’d buy it.

© Robert Emmett McWhorter
published by Hermetic
Medical Records (ASCAP)

Desert Still Life


  Labrador Dali ‘Exile on Myspace’ CD 2008

We’ve run out of road
And we’ve run out of night
We can keep on driving
But we cant get anywhere
The sunlight’s going to catch us eventually
But for a little while
Weren’t we almost free?

There was a moment there
So remember today
There was a moment there
Then it got away

And back by the camp
The tapers sleepwalking
They’re waking and bacon in room eight
They’re changing the guard out on the porch
With the turtle beer
And that bread they break

And there was a moment there
When I thought you would stay
There was a moment there
But it got away


© Robert Emmett McWhorter
published by Hermetic
Medical Records (ASCAP)

Snakepig


Mosquitohead ‘Biddy Mulligans’ 12.03.93It’s creepy,
It’s crawling on your wall.
And spanning your space,
To get in your face,
It’s a snakepig.

It walks up your alleys
At half speed.
It’s breathing your air,
Before you can get it,
It’s a snakepig.

Slither down ’til I have no more
Left to give.

It’s sleeping on slivers
In the back.
It’s dreaming your nickels,
Spit-shine your disease,
It’s a snakepig.

It thinks up all the thinking
Beforehand.
It’s drinking your dreams,
To spit them in your face,
It’s a snakepig.

Put it together,
What ever way you can.
Check it with the Weather Man,
See whether or not you can.

Slither down ’til I have no more
Left to give.

It’s a snakepig.

© Robert Emmett McWhorter
published by Hermetic
Medical Records (ASCAP)

Another Band to Follow


      Labrador Dali ‘Possum House’ CD 2010

Just buy a shirt
And no one here gets hurt,
But danger’s where you flirt
If you don’t have exact change.

Here’s our CD
The first one’s always free,
But make sure you talk to me
When you get itchy

Maybe she turned
The day she finally learned
That the inside
was all vacuous and hollow
She might have got a life
Or she might be someones wife
Or she might have found
Another band to follow.

She didn’t mind
When she had to stand in line
After wasting so much time
In empty bar rooms.

Winter turned to summer
We broke another drummer
But everything’s a bummer
Now that you don’t come around.

Maybe the scene
Isn’t what it’s always been,
I might have said some things
She couldn’t swallow.
Maybe she went clean
And joined with the machine,
or she might have found
Another band to follow.

Here’s our new tape
We call it the re-rape
It’s a remix of the disc
We sold you last verse.

Just sign here
For your sound man and your beer
And if the credit card clears
You’ll get an hour.

Down the bathroom stairs
For nefarious affairs
Maybe we forgot her in Ohio
Or maybe it’s too late,
She gave up and went straight
Or she might have found
Another band to follow.

© Robert Emmett McWhorter
published by Hermetic
Medical Records (ASCAP)

Spiro Agnew

          Thunk ‘Thunklife’ CD 2001
Spiro Agnew stepping off a boat,
He doesn’t have to float,
They’ve got him on an avenue,

Summer blue wasted in the hours,
Shaking in the trees,
Take them where they never want to be.

And the days come and nights fall,
But nothing’s really happening at all

I’m not hanging on for this world,
I’m not hanging on for this one.

Always have a hard time getting in,
I’m not pure of sin,
We’ve all got our residue.

Summers gone twisting in the trees,
Or shaking in the breeze,
Thinking what you never want to think.

And you’re waiting on a phone call,
But it never rings,
It never rings at all.

I’m not hanging on for this world,
I’m not hanging on for this one.

Spiro Agnew stepping off a plane,
He wont go back again,
He wont ask for a reference.

And the days come and nights fall,
But nothings really happening at all.

I’m not hanging on for this world,
I’m not hanging on for this one.

Hang on, hang on.


© Robert Emmett McWhorter
published by Hermetic
Medical Records (ASCAP)
circa 1992

The Trudge

Labrador Dali ‘Exile on Myspace’ 2008Here I go,
I got my chip on tight
And my head down low
There’s no reason to bustle in this town
There’s nowhere to go

Its all gears and springs
We’re tugged around on puppet strings
And the man squats over us
casts his shadow down on everything

But I’m not going down again
I’m not going down again
Not again

So here I am again
Underneath the table with Frank Of Oregon
Wish I was at home with Squeaky
And my Three Essential Pens

This towns a hole
They built it on a basin
inside a toilet bowl
I let my headwound do the talking
And just threw my hot dog into the snow

Im not going down again

© Robert Emmett McWhorter
published by Hermetic
Medical Records (ASCAP)
(circa 2007)

Creepy Guy


Thunk ‘Melodius’ 1995Slice you up with a proposition.
Check for change in a payphone.
Hang around for another miracle
that you know will never come.

Size you up in a conversation.
Take your change and buy a beer.
I cant wait for another chance to run
The one I know will never come.

Turn your cheek and see me through the other eye.
There will never be another guy like me.
Turn your trick and pick my mind for flies.threehead
Oh, my God! I’m such a creepy guy today.

Sing your songs out ofmy window.
watch the street for your shadow.
Should I pay for another empty day,
that I know will never come.

Turn your cheek and see me through the other eye.
There will never be another guy like me.
Turn your trick and pick my mind for flies.
Oh, my God! I’m such a creepy guy today.

© Robert Emmett McWhorter
published by Hermetic
Medical Records (ASCAP)
August ’93

The End of the World Song

(April 1993)

Up on the Fourth Floor

Mosquitohead- Biddy Mulligans- 12.03.93
I drank a cup of coffee,
And tried to avoid
Writing this Song.

A fan in the Window,
An Empty Pack of Smokes,
An Empty Daydream
Carries me away.

And I can go on and on
And on and on and on,
But no one is listening
To this song.

Sat on your sofa,
Saw that look in your eyes,
Like something has to be
Happening somewhere

Through several doorways,
A million stair cases,
A million staring eyes
Carry me Away.

It’s only a song,
It’s not like it’s the End of the World.
It’s only the End of the World,
It’s no excuse to write a song.

Up in the evening,
I went to sleep at dawn,
And tried to avoid
Losing this buzz (zzz).

Awoke with a feeling,
That far away look,
A million staring eyes
To carry me away.

And I can go on and on
and on and on and on,
But noone is listening to this song.

© Robert Emmett McWhorter
Published by Hermetic Medical Records (ASCAP)

Arturo The Cucumber

grapeArturo the Cucumber
When will you learn?
That Matches can’t swim,
And Monkeys won’t burn.
When the yearn man knocks,
Quick! Let him in.
Everything you want will be yours,
When you need it.

Arturo the Cucumber,
When will you learn?

He sang and he skipped.
He tripped over easy.
He spun and he spun,
Until he felt queasy.
He said to himself,
‘I must be a Clock’
‘Cuz nibblers don’t spittle,
And Boulders won’t rock.

Arturo the Cucumber,
When will you learn?

He tried and he tried,
But couldn’t succeed.
So he kicked his feet,
And tried just to bleed.
His Medical Record
Skipped over Splotches
Of Juices of Uses,
A Noose in it’s Notches.

Arturo the Cucumber,
When will you learn?

©Robert Emmett McWhorter/
published by Hermetic
Medical Records (ASCAP)
(circa 1994)

A Dozen Roses

roseA dozen pair of couplets on the ‘Rose and Violet’ theme’.  №13 makes a ‘Baker’s Dozen’, and №14 is for good luck.


¹
Roses are red,
violets are blue,
If I quote much further,
The author will sue.

²
Roses are Gray,
Violets are Gray.
The Doctor Just Told Me,
I’m Colorblind today.

³
Roses are Read,
Violets are Blew,
Be Careful of Homonyms,
Whatever You Do.


Roses are bled,
Violets are Rue,
If you drink too much,
This will happen to you.


Roses are Risen,
and Violets are vile.
It don’t make much sense,
But It sure makes Me Smile.


Roses may stink,
And Violets do smell,
But when you’re congested,
You can’t even tell.


Roses are Rose-Colored,
Violets are Violet.
A Stale Rhyme is Stale,
However You Style It.


Roses are paisley,
Violets are plaid.
I have a Concussion,
But I don’t feel so bad.


The Roses are painted,
The Rude Violet said,
If you cross the Red Queen,
It’s ‘Off with your Head!’

₁₀
Roses are Particles,
Violet’s a Wave.
Whether We watch decides
How They’ll behave.

₁₁
Rosebud’s a sled,
Violet Slips on a Slope.
We Search for a Meaning,
And Hold out for Hope.

₁₂
Roses are Neon,
Violet’s Fluorescent,
The Globe is a Gas Ball,
And quite Incandescent.

₁₃
Roses are Infrared,
Ultraviolets are Blue.
There’s only a Narrow Band
Of Light We can View.


Rosebuds are Blue
Vileness is Fat
Santa’s a Dog Fetus
Kicking a Cat