Class Action Slackers

thumb-fliptopnewsDATELINE — Washington DC.
In breaking news, a class action lawsuit has been filed in federal court on behalf of every slacker ever fired from a job for doing nothing. According to the suit, all the wronged parties are now claiming to be Zen Buddhist, and action of any sort goes against their religion.

Black Holes (video)

Black Holes: What You Need To Know To Protect Yourself

A piece from ‘Meowing On The Answering Machine: A selection of short fiction and prose’ by Robert Emmett
https://robertwriting.wordpress.com/meow
Audio taken from The Flabby Hoffman Radio Extravagonzo
Que 4 Radio 1680 AM Chicago – September 27, 2014
Melodica by Marc Gee
Also in attendance: Boom Boom, Mike Felton, Kristin Lundberg, Caryn Ruby (and probably others whose names are escaping me)
words and drawings and non-imation by Robert Emmett

Springtime in Camelot

SpringtimeinCamelot

Ten Scenes from MEOWING

OK! This is turning into a rather large project now, here are all TEN of them. I have a few more up my sleeve still, so stay tuned.

Each of these is a scene from a story from my collection, MEOWING ON THE ANSWERING MACHINE, which is available absolutely everywhere, in paperback and ebook. Folks who have read it and still maintain the ability to communicate are giving it rave reviews! Saying things like, “This looks like a real book!” and “Stay crunchy in milk!”

All the cool kids are doing it!!! Get your copy today!!!
http://irobert.me/meow

Aftermarket Mark Up

Used copy of MEOWING on Amazon for $999.11

Used copy of MEOWING on Amazon for $999.11

This is pretty funny. Having my first book newly available to the world, I have been mindful of the sites where it’s available for sale. I was bewildered and amused to see the first offering of a used copy of the book, especially when I saw the price.

Yep, you are seeing that right, this is not doctored at all I swear. Someone is asking almost a thousand dollars for a used copy of Meowing on the Answering Machine, but they assure us it is a good copy.

I’m sure it’s a typo. I’m sure the seller was still laughing too hard from reading my stories to type straight. Otherwise, I have to wonder, what all is included in the thousand dollar edition of my book? For that price, it better come with a talking couch… and free shipping!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing…

Apologia Absurdum

Perpetual Motion Machine w/ Solar Lamp Attachment and Self-Writing Novel.

Perpetual Motion Machine w/ Solar Lamp Attachment and Self-Writing Novel.

There is a method to my madness. I write what I do to try to show a part of the world I truly believe in, a part of human existence that doesn’t often get a spotlight, and some will say doesn’t exist.

I grew up with the word ‘CAN’T‘. You can’t do this, can’t do that, that can’t happen, people can’t fly.

“BULLSHIT!” I say, and I am glad I never listened. Sure I have run into some brick walls being defiant and proving to myself I can’t walk through walls, but I never let the ‘CAN’T‘s keep from trying or doing anything.

I believe this world, this reality, is a lot more magical than we usually give it credit for. This is why I write the weird things I do. To show possibilities, to show that there are miracles in this world.

I have done impossible things. I have seen things that shouldn’t exist. I believe in miracles and magic, and I think if everyone else believed it as well, we could move forward as a species.

So, look at my works as silly little tales about Spanish speaking cats who moonlight as copy-editors, ridicule me for the stories about talking furniture. But I am trying to show something real, I am trying to convey a truth that I cannot easily put into words.

This world is magic! If you believe it.

Sometimes the impossible is a lot more attainable than the highly improbable.

Only fifty years or so ago, it was improbable that we would ever find life on another planet, but it was impossible for man to walk on the moon.

Was…

We still haven’t found life elsewhere, but we have all seen Neil’s footprint in the regolith.

©M²XIV/REM