A message to my fellow writers

GhostwriterAnd an offer to the readers…

One thing which I think is important to remember, I have to continually move this back to the forefront of my mind, and it’s probably something all my fellow writers out there can take a little comfort in, or maybe readjust our expectations.

We write, we are the writers. Our readers read, this is what they do. And while we all yearn and scratch for feedback and input and all coveted costumer review, we must remember that many who we beg for words do not feel adequately prepared or properly trained to do so. They would love to convey their opinion of our work, but if their level of confidence and intimacy with the language doesn’t match our own, they may feel intimidated to use their words to talk about ours.

To this end, I am offering a new service; especially geared toward the readers among us who would love to put their opinions into digital print if they could only find the right words. For a mere 99 cents, I will ghost write your review of my book. I will strive to put your unique take of my work into words you will be proud to paste anywhere, I will also do my best to convince you that this truly is the most important work you have ever read.

This way, we all win. The writer gets the reviews they cherish so, and the reader gets a few professionally framed paragraphs explaining their thoughts which they can paste around the internet and feel like a well-spoken, as well as obviously well-read, individual.

Act now before the inevitable laws are passed against this sort of thing!

Cop Dog

I’ve had so much coffee I’m at the point where I feel like a complete raving homicidal maniac. I’m glad to have found my peace.

spotteddogFezby is in the corner, arguing with the dog. “See this cigarette? Dog! This proves my evolutionary superiority over you! Got it?”

Of course, the dog isn’t paying him any attention, but staring off into a gray memory of the good old days as a cop dog, sniffing out these ugly humans.

“Not only can we produce fire, we can inhale it!” Fezby takes a long drawn drag from this cigarette, and lets it pour back out over the dog’s head.

Of course, the dog outlives Fezby by several years, and makes a better tennis partner than that old crust could ever be.

© Robert Emmett McWhorter