Mr. Argyle Sock

Thunk  ‘Melodious Thunk’ CD 1995

Mr. Argyle Sock,
Sits on his rock,
wreaking of rum
And Catholics.

Houses fall down
When he comes around,
He stands alone
In the windowframe.

With his finger in a dyke,
At the open mic,
The leaks come
Squeaking to a halt.

But if you can’t find it,
You’ll be reminded,
That it’s absolutely
Not his fault.

argyleWhen you’re only
Entertaining a thought,
But the thoughts gets bored
And move away.

They’re probably
In his head now,
Having the time
Of their lives.

Mr. Argyle Sock
Picking your pocket
Funding your
cash/ weight-loss diet

Riding his bike,
Looking just like…

If he was for sale
You’d buy it.

If you could afford him,
You’d buy it.

© Robert Emmett McWhorter
published by Hermetic
Medical Records (ASCAP)

Spiro Agnew

          Thunk ‘Thunklife’ CD 2001
Spiro Agnew stepping off a boat,
He doesn’t have to float,
They’ve got him on an avenue,

Summer blue wasted in the hours,
Shaking in the trees,
Take them where they never want to be.

And the days come and nights fall,
But nothing’s really happening at all

I’m not hanging on for this world,
I’m not hanging on for this one.

Always have a hard time getting in,
I’m not pure of sin,
We’ve all got our residue.

Summers gone twisting in the trees,
Or shaking in the breeze,
Thinking what you never want to think.

And you’re waiting on a phone call,
But it never rings,
It never rings at all.

I’m not hanging on for this world,
I’m not hanging on for this one.

Spiro Agnew stepping off a plane,
He wont go back again,
He wont ask for a reference.

And the days come and nights fall,
But nothings really happening at all.

I’m not hanging on for this world,
I’m not hanging on for this one.

Hang on, hang on.


© Robert Emmett McWhorter
published by Hermetic
Medical Records (ASCAP)
circa 1992

Creepy Guy


Thunk ‘Melodius’ 1995Slice you up with a proposition.
Check for change in a payphone.
Hang around for another miracle
that you know will never come.

Size you up in a conversation.
Take your change and buy a beer.
I cant wait for another chance to run
The one I know will never come.

Turn your cheek and see me through the other eye.
There will never be another guy like me.
Turn your trick and pick my mind for flies.threehead
Oh, my God! I’m such a creepy guy today.

Sing your songs out ofmy window.
watch the street for your shadow.
Should I pay for another empty day,
that I know will never come.

Turn your cheek and see me through the other eye.
There will never be another guy like me.
Turn your trick and pick my mind for flies.
Oh, my God! I’m such a creepy guy today.

© Robert Emmett McWhorter
published by Hermetic
Medical Records (ASCAP)
August ’93

Arturo The Cucumber

grapeArturo the Cucumber
When will you learn?
That Matches can’t swim,
And Monkeys won’t burn.
When the yearn man knocks,
Quick! Let him in.
Everything you want will be yours,
When you need it.

Arturo the Cucumber,
When will you learn?

He sang and he skipped.
He tripped over easy.
He spun and he spun,
Until he felt queasy.
He said to himself,
‘I must be a Clock’
‘Cuz nibblers don’t spittle,
And Boulders won’t rock.

Arturo the Cucumber,
When will you learn?

He tried and he tried,
But couldn’t succeed.
So he kicked his feet,
And tried just to bleed.
His Medical Record
Skipped over Splotches
Of Juices of Uses,
A Noose in it’s Notches.

Arturo the Cucumber,
When will you learn?

©Robert Emmett McWhorter/
published by Hermetic
Medical Records (ASCAP)
(circa 1994)

B.

A Storm of Conscience Awakening

Fingers Combing for Fleas

The Thrill of Time

Runs Down your Spine

Like History is a Disease

Pick of the Litter Recycling

A Monkey turns into… ME!

And I’m just Scared that

I won’t be Afraid of the Things

That I should really Fear

I Feel like Praying

Pick a Religion

Choose your Confusion

Poke out your Vision

Love Made me Blind

Blind Made me Fall

Fall on my Face

In Love over You

© Robert Emmett McWhorter/ 

published by Hermetic Medical Records (ASCAP)

all rights reserved